WomenCare WNY » Services » Pregnancy Loss Support
If you've experienced the loss of a baby, we can help.
The Footprints on the Heart Program helps families deal with the loss of a baby caused by miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, and newborn death. Grieving has no set time frame and varies from person to person. Take the time that is right for you. To help you cope, we provide a variety of support resources, listed below.
Telephone or email support is provided by Fran Kane, RN, BSN, a bereavement nurse with over 23 years of labor and delivery experience and over 11 years of experience in working with bereaved couples.
Fran may be reached by phone at (716) 862-1678 on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.
You may also email Fran at fkane@chsbuffalo.org.
When you speak to Fran, she will:
We just found out that we lost our baby.
I had no signs or symptoms of miscarriage. We are devastated and slowly trying to heal, although it just doesn't seem possible right now. I went for the D & C Procedure at Sisters Hospital and was touched by the folder of information given to us. I am so happy that you and Sisters Hospital recognizes our precious baby as a real life and a real loss. The "dear friend" letter really comforted me although I don't have enough strength yet to read the poem.
Bereavement information is given to each family before they leave the hospital. This information is specific to your situation and is tailored to the type of loss experienced.
A lending library with grief and loss materials is also a part of this program. Our books cover topics such as coping with grief and loss, rituals and ways to remember your baby, grief of fathers and grandparents, siblings' grief and pregnancy after a loss.
These books are available during support hours (Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.) or by appointment.
The lending library is located at the at the M. Steven Piver Center for Women's Health and Wellness (on the Sisters of Charity Hospital campus in Buffalo).
News
Monthly support groups are offered to assist families while they mourn the loss of their baby. Led by a professional nurse, these groups can help grieving parents learn how to best remember their babies and understand the natural emotional reactions to loss.
By attending a support group, you will receive additional support from others who have experienced the loss of a baby, learn ways to cope and heal, and deal with the normal grieving emotions that are present after a perinatal loss and then fears during subsequent pregnancy.
The group that is right for you will depend on the type of loss you have experienced.
Footprints on the Heart is a group for parents who have experienced the loss of a baby through stillbirth (20 weeks onwards) or early infant death.
You are welcome to share your story, ask questions of other bereaved parents, and seek support/advise but also note that much is gained from just attending the group. No one will pressure you to talk. Just listening can be very helpful.
If there are family members who want to attend a group session, be aware that they meet in a separate room. Please call to let Fran know so that arrangements for another facilitator can be made.
This group meets at the M. Steven Piver, M.D. Center for Women’s Health & Wellness (First Floor Conference Room, 2121 Main Street, Suite 100, Buffalo, NY) on the fourth Wednesday of the month from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.
Heart to Heart is a group for parents who have experienced the loss of a baby through miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy.
This group meets at the M. Steven Piver, M.D. Center for Women’s Health & Wellness (First Floor Conference Room, 2121 Main Street, Suite 100, Buffalo, NY) on the first Thursday of each month from 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m.
Hopeful Hearts is a group for parents who are pregnant again after a previous pregnancy loss.
This group meets at the M. Steven Piver, M.D. Center for Women’s Health & Wellness (First Floor Conference Room, 2121 Main Street, Suite 100, Buffalo, NY) on the second Thursday of each month from 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m.
This group is offered to grandparents and family members to validate their grief and to educate them on how to support their loved ones.
This group meets at the M. Steven Piver, M.D. Center for Women’s Health & Wellness (First Floor Conference Room, 2121 Main Street, Suite 100, Buffalo, NY) on the fourth Monday of each month from 6 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.
There is no charge to attend any of these meetings and reservations are not required. However, advance knowledge of your attendance is appreciated so you can be welcomed properly. If you will be attending, please contact Fran Kane at (716) 862-1678 or fkane@chsbuffalo.org.
A bereavement newsletter, “Forget-Me-Not,” is available several times a year and includes information and resources, along with poems and stories written by grieving families and friends. Parents can read and share stories of their babies, find out about community events, and find local support groups and national websites to help in the mourning process.
The newsletter is delivered by mail to your home; a sign-up form is included in the bereavement information folder that you received at the hospital. You may also access the newsletter online at the Western New York Perinatal Bereavement Network website.
For more information, please contact Dawn Both-Kim at forgetmenotnewsletter@hotmail.com.
A candlelight memorial service is an adults-only event held every January in the Sisters Hospital Chapel.
Ornaments and a candle are given to couples as a token of our support, and readings and music are selected to honor, heal and remember precious babies gone too soon.
Invitations for this event are mailed to adults who have experienced a loss at Sisters Hospital and adults who have attended the Footprints on the Heart support groups within the past two to three years. Others are welcome to attend and should contact Fran Kane for more information at (716) 862-1678 or fkane@chsbuffalo.org.
A memorial service is held in May and October at our memorial stone at Mt. Olivet Cemetery (4000 Elmwood Ave. Kenmore, NY).
This non-denominational service honors and recognizes all babies who have been miscarried or who have died within the past six months.
Readings and songs provide support and acknowledge that the baby is valued, respected and remembered. Reservations are not needed.
Parents will receive an invitation by mail 2-3 weeks before the memorial service takes place. Family and friends are welcome to attend.
Individuals who have not received an invitation but wish to attend should contact Fran Kane at (716) 862-1678 or fkane@chsbuffalo.org.
An annual Walk to Remember in October is a short walk that allows parents to come together to walk in memory of their beloved babies. The event is hosted by the Western New York Perinatal Bereavement Network and includes a tree planting, balloon release, and songs and readings.
For more information, please contact Christine Scott, Director of the Western New York Perinatal Bereavement Network, at (716) 626-6363.
Other events by the Western New York Perinatal Bereavement Network include an Evening to Remember and a Parents Day Brunch to recognize those who have experienced a loss. For more information, please contact Christine Scott, Director of the Western New York Perinatal Bereavement Network, at (716) 626-6363.
For more information about an event, click on the event title.
In 2009, I lost my baby at 13 weeks.
No one makes a big deal out of a miscarriage this “early.” They say miscarriages are very common in the first trimester and up to 50% of all women experience one or more miscarriages in their lifetime. So I had my D & C and went back to work and pretended it was no big deal.
One year later, a few days before Christmas, I had a complete breakdown, to the point where I was unable to work for a week. The fact that my baby had died inside of me and I missed that baby indescribably hit me all at once like a ton of bricks. I knew I needed help, and I remembered seeing an ad for Footprints on the Heart in my quarterly Hospice newsletter.
I thank God every day that I found Fran at that time. I never would have recovered and learned how to grieve my baby properly without Fran and the group. I was on a very dangerous downward spiral of anger and denial.
Fran’s support and guidance got me to a healthy way of living again. No matter how much your partner, family and friends love and support you, there is no greater healing power than the validation I got from the women in my group. There is an immeasurable number of women and men in the world who live an angry and nasty existence because they never grieved their loss in a healthy way. I know this to be true because I was on my way there when Footprints saved me.
In a perfect world, every person who loses a child would be taken under Fran’s wings and guided back to a healthy place, finally able to have a positive outlook on life again.
This year, my second pregnancy ended at 31 weeks; our daughter Amelia was stillborn at Women and Children’s Hospital of Buffalo. Throughout my stay as an inpatient, the nurses and midwives handled the situation with grace and respect. But I have to say, it has been 4 weeks and no one from Kaleida has called to follow up with me as an outpatient. And the truth is, I needed support immediately.
There are very dark places the mind visits after a stillbirth, and if I didn’t already have Fran and the Footprints program in my life, I fear what would have become of me. It makes me wonder what happened to all the women before me at Women and Children’s who weren’t reached out to? And all the women at Sisters that Fran can’t reach because she is only one person?
In a perfect world, every person who loses a child would be taken under Fran’s wings and guided back to a healthy place, finally able to have a positive outlook on life again.
– Jill
| Website | Offers |
|---|---|
| Babies Remembered and Wintergreen Press | Magazine, Books, Sharing Corner |
| Facts about Miscarriage | Memorials (online), Education |
| First Candle | Memorials, Grief Counselors (24/7) |
| Honoring Our Angels | Blog |
| Lancet's Stillbirth Series | Education |
| MISS Foundation | Support Groups, Newsletter, Forums, Videos, Education |
| Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support, Inc. | Support Groups, Chat, Message Board, Blog |
| Project Rachel (PDF) | Prayers, Healing Services |
| Rachel's Vineyard (Healing After Abortion) | Retreats, Education |
| Star Legacy Foundation | Memorials, Education |
| Suggestions for Healing After a Baby Dies (PDF) | Education |
| Sweet Pea Project | Blanket Donation Program |
Our program is made possible by The Stevens Bereavement Fund. Gifts made to the fund are a living memorial in honor of the loss of a beloved baby. Please consider making a donation to assist other grieving families at the time of their loss.
For more information about our pregnancy loss support services, please call Fran at (716) 862-1678 or e-mail fkane@chsbuffalo.org. Support will be provided to meet you and your family’s particular needs. You are not alone during this time and we would like to support you in any way we can.
